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(ini ialah perutusan khas dr bilik 707/3)

DENGAR! DENGAR!!


ADALAH HAMBA YANG BERNAMA PENA, DJAMBU PUADOVICH, MEMBERI KETAHUI KEPADA SEKALIAN PEMBACANYA, BAHAWASANYA, BLOG INI TIDAK AKAN DIKEMASKINI SELAMA SEPURNAMA LANTARAN HAMBA KELUAR BERKELANA.

SEYOGIA DIINGATKAN, KALIAN TIDAK PERLU MERASA GUNDAH GULANA ATAS KEGHAIBAN HAMBA. WARTA BERITA DAN WARKAH PERKHABARAN AKAN TETAP HAMBA KIRIM CUMA BUKAN DI SINI. DIPERSILAKAN MENGKLIK DI SINI.

JUSTERU ITU, ADALAH HAMBA MELETAKKAN SETINGGI-TINGGI PENGHARAPAN KEPADA KALIAN BERDOA KEPADA ALLAH YANG MAHA AGUNG DAN MAHA MULIA SUPAYA HAMBA DIKURNIAKAN KESELAMATAN DAN KESIHATAN SERTA BERADA DALAM NAUNGAN RAHMAN DAN LINDUNGAN RAHIM-NYA SEPANJANG HAMBA BERADA DALAM PERANTAUAN INI.

SEKIAN, DEMIKIANLAH ADANYA. TERIMA KASIH

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20 dalil kenapa aku xleh jd PM

aku ditag oleh uShop di Talam Kuning...

1) What is the most important thing in your life?
my life...with life, you can do anything. without it, u'r dead

2) What is the last thing that you bought with your own money?
my own money? ntah...dulu ada beli PS2. tp gaji jaga bendera tu xigt belanja kat ne...

3) Where do you wish to get married?
anywher selain kat pejabat agama lps kene tangkap basah :P

4) How old do you think you will be permanently owned by your love?
i hope not too old...but i don't get owned. we are free human beings

5) Are you in love?
no

6) Where was the last restaurant you had dinner?
McD...hey, fastfood restaurant ok?

7) Name the latest book that you bought?
Confessions of An English Opium-eater

8) What is your full name?
Azizul Ismie bin Mohd Puad

9) Do you prefer your mother or father?
nak aku ulang hadis nabi ke? aku syg kedua-dua mereka. ayah dan ibu, itulah permulaan kami [lagu Sudirman]

10) Name a person that you really wish to meet in real life for the first time.
hmm...no one at the time

11) Christina or Britney?
hmmmmmmm...:P

12) Do you do your own laundry?
hanya kat skolah dan Uni. kat rumah ada washing machine. so kdg2 je...

13) The most exciting place you want to go?
kedai kopi kat Amsterdam...capital of MaryJane n XXX in Europe

14) Hugs or kisses?
depends on the situation

15) Point out 5 things about the person who tagged you.
uShop:
  1. ada Black Belt 2nd Dan dlm TKD
  2. sgt enthusiastic dlm apa jua perkara
  3. suka travel2 mcm aku jugak
  4. ada refleks 'dapur' bila bosan
  5. suka tgkp gamba
16) 8 things I am passionate about:
  1. reading
  2. traveling
  3. main PS2
  4. silat melayu
  5. religion, history n politics [sket2 je]
  6. medical stuffs
  7. makan
  8. flirting. haha. BITE ME!!!
17) 8 things I say too often:
  1. hmmm...
  2. ntah...
  3. kata2 kesat
  4. mencarut
  5. adoi...
  6. cisss...
  7. astaghfirullah
  8. ntah...eh dah sebut eh? hehe
18) 8 books I've read recently:
  1. text book of obstetrics: Dutta
  2. lagukan senandung itu
  3. tuhan manusia
  4. bedar sukma bisu
  5. gerakan kiri melayu dalam perjuangan kemerdekaan
  6. an-nikah
  7. tuberculosis
  8. confessions of an english opium-eater dan x abis lagi...
19) 8 songs I could listen to over and over again:
aku x dengar lagu...

20) 8 things I learned last year:
  1. tulang ikan ialah penyebab abcess dlm rongga mulut yg utama kat sini
  2. pharmakology
  3. microbiology
  4. internal medicine
  5. pathophysiology
  6. pathoanatomy [and i still suck at it]
  7. hygiene ialah cycle yg xbest
  8. ntah...dah lupa
-8 people to tag:-

xnak tag sape...biarkan ia mati di sini...

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ganja

little boxes,
on the hillside,
little boxes made of ticky-tacky,
little boxes on the hillside,
little boxes all the same

there's a green one,
and a pink one,
and a blue one,
and a yellow one,
and they're all made of ticky tacky and they all look just the same

and the people,
in the houses,
all went to the universities,
where they were
put in boxes and came out all the same

and there's doctors,
and lawyers,
and business executives
and they were all made of ticky tacky
and they all look just the same...

a song by Malvina Reynolds which became the montage song for the series 'Weeds'.

trimas buat bhaiya yg bg kitorg siri ni utk dilayan sementara belum mula berjalan ni.

siri yg penuh dgn kebejatan akhlak, sifar nilai murni, keruntuhan sistem sosial dan tiada langsung nilai beragama.

dlm pada itu, siri ni penuh dgn nilai2 pendidikan bagaimana untuk mengedar ganja, menanam ganja, menyara hidup dgn menjual ganja dan menyusun struktur kongsi gelap untuk melindungi perniagaan ganja.

a light watch FOR ADULTS ONLY! :D

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rigged votes

as much as i hate money-politics, vote-rigging and absolute power of any governments, i have to admit, i have failed. i have succumbed to the dark side. i have made my desire above all that matters...

remember the poll i posted not a few days ago?

i have denied the majority and jointly-decided with uShop to put 'sepurnama berGelandangan' as our travelogue title. i have used my veto to quiet your voices/polls and neglected the popular choice.

so be it!

why do we pick this title? 'sepurnama' means a period of 1 month. 'bergelandangan' means a hobo. so the title collectively means 'we are going away for a month as hobos with the sole destination - home'.

for our travelogue URL, i'll tell u later. or maybe you can search for yourself.

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satu lagi bro!!!


hari tu, arteri karotik putus.

hari ni, trauma tengkorak/kranium.

selepas umpan sosej aku dibawa lari, aku buat adjustment sket kat jerat tikus aku. sorok bawah kabel elektrik.

FYI, tikus ni sgt kecik dan jerat tikus haruslah sangat sensitif/peka untuk ia berfungsi. umpan sosej aku hr tu dibawa lari dgn mudah dan esok paginya aku tgk jerat tu dah kosong tanpa mangsa dan umpan. cisss!!!

maka semalam, aku bega2 sket [aku xpasti perkataan 'bega' ni wujud ke x, tp yg aku paham maknanye 'adjust'] jerat ni, mengadaptasi lokasi dan bahan persekitarannya untuk memastikan musuh manusia terjebak akhirnya.

the plan: to trap a smaller mouse than before
the apparatus: a simple mouse-trap
the bait: a piece of hard bread
the implementation: deploy the trap as usual but to make things harder for the mouse, put it under a cable and plug. this is to add more weight and pressure so that the little mouse can activate the kill-switch with even more minimal effort.
the result: a dead mouse with a cerebro-cranial trauma the next morning

muahahaha!

kita manusia yg dikurniakan akal. mestilah lebih bijak dari tikus!

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Budak Neraka 2


kelakar x?

dulu kecoh pasal nama 'Hellboy' sbb ada kalimah 'hell'. penat nak tukar jadi 'Super Sapiens'. sekarang rilek je pakai 'Hellboy'...

bukan aku nak suruh pakai nama 'Super Sapiens' plak. tapi hakikatnye, kalo dulu pun pakai 'Hellboy', xada apa mudaratnya... org tau yg bendalah dalam muvi tu mmg fantasi dan xkan ada siapa yg percaya makhluk2 tu berasal dr neraka...

ataupun, org yg kene kutuk sbb bg cadangan nama 'Super Sapiens' tu dah serik kene kutuk sbb nama 'Super Sapiens' tu 'lame' gile, kali ni dia malas nak suruh tukar...hehehe

satu segi, nampak yang Malaysia ni lemah dari sudut penguatkuasaan.
dua, penguatkuasaan lemah kerana dasar penguatkuasaan tu lemah [nak tukar nama semata2 ada nama 'hell'. kalo ada nama Allah ke ape ke, tu lain kira aa]

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BIntaNG 3

sori la wahai peminat2 ku sekalian [ada peminat ke pun ntah?]. aku dah lama x menulis. sbb dok sibuk dgn projek 'Sepurnama Bergelandangan'. ok la, ni aku nak tulis bab2 yg radikal sket.

aku ada baca buku ni, 'Gerakan Kiri Melayu dalam Perjuangan Kemerdekaan'. tulisan Mohamed Salleh Lamry dan terbitan Penerbit UKM.

sebelum aku ulas buku ni, aku nak tanya pembaca sekalian. kalo nak jwb, sila jwb dlm ruangan komen, ye? pada korang, Komunis ni jahat ke x? kalo x, kenapa? dan kalo jahat, kenapa?

buku ni aku beli sebab aku nak tahu lebih lanjut ttg perjuangan golongan kiri. perjuangan yg lebih radikal dlm menuntut kemerdekaan. siapa watak utamanya, apa tindakan dan usaha mereka, bala bencana apa yang menimpa mereka dlm usaha mereka mencari kemerdekaan sejati untuk tanah tumpah darah mereka.

usaha untuk mencapai kemerdekaan bermula sebelum tercetus perang jepun lagi. tapi bila orang2 jepun sampai, merekalah yg memberi kesedaran kpd org2 melayu untuk menuntut hak mereka dr golongan kolonial/org putih. slogan 'Asia untuk Orang Asia'.

apabila jepun kalah dan balik kampung, org putih datang balik ke Tanah Melayu. masa ni la yg golongan kiri ni bersusah payah nak pastikan yg org Tanah Melayu berkuasa penuh ke atas tanah mereka [tanah kita!!!] sendiri. betapa mereka ni berjuang untuk kemerdekaan, mereka sanggup angkat senjata. tetapi malang sebab kebanyakan mereka ni ditangkap oleh orang putih sebab disyaki Komunis.

drpd buku ni kita dapat lihat bahawa pejuang belah kiri lebih sanggup menumpahkan darah untuk kemerdekaan. pada mereka, polis2 tu yg jahat sebab sanggup kerja dgn penjajah kolonial. pada mereka, mereka sedang berjuang dengan ikhlas dan tak rela diperhambakan oleh org putih. [buku ni ditulis dari sudut pandangan org kiri. polis dan tentera kerajaan digelar sebagai 'musuh']

cuma aku rasa kesilapan puak2 ni, ialah perjuangan bersenjata diorg lama sangat. dr tahun 1949 sampai 1989 [40 tahun tu!] yang tamat dengan Perjanjian Baling. sepatutnya mereka menamatkan penentangan dan sama2 membangunkan negara yang dah merdeka.

perkara golongan kiri ni ialah satu sejarah dan kita patut belajar drpdnya. sepatutnya kita lupakan peristiwa hitam ni dan amik teladan, belajar untuk menghadapi anasir2 buruk pada masa depan.

fakta2 menarik:
  1. org2 melayu yg join komunis tu bukan totally komunis ateis.
  2. puak2 yg berdamai dlm Perjanjian Baling diberi pilihan jd warganegara Thai atau Malaysia. yg jadi warganegara Thai lebih bernasib baik drpd yg balik Malaysia.
  3. situasi Tanah Melayu masa tu hampir macam Korea Utara/Selatan dan Viet Cong/Nam
  4. sesiapa yg tahu pasal 'The Long March' dlm sejarah Komunis China, Komunis Tanah Melayu pun ada 'Perjalanan Jauh' mereka
p/s: aku rasa, ramai la yg nak kondem aku pasal sokong komunism ni...

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jerat xpernah lupakan...

KTAKKK!!!

dJumb: haa...dah kene dah!

usHop: mari kita lihat siapa yg kena!!!

kami pun meluru ke dapur...


kami pun xtau dr mana datangnya binatang2 ni. tau2 je dah ada 5-6 ekor dah. kes2 sebelum ni, berjaya ditangkap/dibunuh dgn tangan...harfiahnya, DGN TANGAN [literally, MANUALLY].

kes2 sebelum:
  1. tangkap dan pijak [pingat kehormatan dikurnia kpd Aswad]
  2. tangkap dan hempuk pakai selipar [pingat tangan cekatan kpd usHop]
  3. operasi koridor malam [mangsa terlepas akibat kakitangan yg terlalu ramai]
  4. operasi lintas pintu jamban [mangsa sempat menyelinap ke jamban dan tidak dijumpai selepas itu]
  5. terjunan awan [mangsa sempat lari ke bucu balkoni dan terjun ke bumi. dianggap sbg mati wlpn tiada bangkai dijumpai]
untuk kes ini, pingat gajet agung dikurniakan kpd dJambu atas sumbangan membeli dan memasang jerat yg membawa kepada terbunuhnya mangsa terbaru

makanan terakhirnya...kepala udang masak sambal, sumbangan Hajar

penafian: lantak la korang nak kata kejam ke, tikus ni comel ke, kitorg ni bunuh binatang ke, korg ni pencinta haiwan ke ape ke...kalo korang sayang sgt kat tikus ni, sila la bela dan jgn komplen kalo dia runggis habis korg punya baju, roti, megi, milo 3-in-1 atau ape saja. tikus juga buleh menjadi vektor kutu untuk wabak dan hawar

p/s> ni jerat kedua. yg lebih kecil dan peka. jerat yg dulu tu besar dan x peka...racun pun xleh jalan a...diorg ni bijak...
p/s#2> aku dah xda idea utk gaya penceritaan yg lain...sama mcm gaya penceritaan gunting rambut...ada efek bunyi pd permulaan dan dialog 2 org...hujung ada ulasan sikit

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cepat dimasak, sedap ditelan

aku ditag oleh usHop...

rank your most favorite instant noodles from 1 - 5 (include brands and flavors)
  1. mee goreng INDO-MIE...yg rendam dlm air panas, pastu tos, pastu gaul dgn kicap & rempah/bumbu [mengikut apa yg tertulis atas peket]
  2. mee vegetarian/perisa sayuran MAMEE...dlm cwn polisterin --> ada rasa/bau minyak bijan/lenga. sedap gak, tp selalu sgt nti badan pun bau bijan/lenga :P
  3. mee kari CINTAN/MAGGI...yg ni mmg klasik.
  4. mee MIBINA ape2 perasa selain ayam dan babi...sungguh ideal dimakan ketika lapar nak maut atau malas nak masak. hanya petik cerek listrik! nyam3
  5. mee goreng mamak...hanya start motor dan pecut ke pasar malam MK [kat ipoh] dan jgn lupa duit rm2.00
ha? yg last tu x kira instant noodle ke? instant a jugak pe. xyah hidupkan dapur pun. dapur mamak tu lain kira la...hehe...

nak tag sape plak ek? aku nak kaco annah, solhaa dan sape2 yg rasa rajin nk jwb. THIS MEANS YOU!!!

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sampai sini buleh dgr!

pendek saja sblm tido mlm ni...

tadi masa tgh gelintar saluran tv, nampak satu perkataan yg sgt aku rindui.

МАЛАЙЗИЯ - MALAYSIA

dgn liputan org tgh berhimpun kat stadium kelana jaya pakai baju merah...

wlpn ada insiden2 yg x diingini, percayalah, suara kalian didengari. sampai sini!

sikit tambahan:

lepas tonton buletin tv3, ada org ckp yg perhimpunan tu x mencapai matlamat. ye ke?

ape matlamatnye?

matlamat protes tu ialah untukmenunjuk perasaan rakyat supaya harga minyak diturunkan.

sekarang ni, siapa yg bertanggungjwb nk turunkan harga minyak? org yg protes ke org yg kat atas2 tu? kui3...

lepas tu pulak, ada tunjuk perasaan kat Siam. kat depan ibupejabat polis plak tu. polis x kecoh ape pun...tunjuk perasaan 'on' jugak...

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dO u LuV Men iN TighTs?

JENG3x!!!

ni la entry2 yg dinanti2kan...eh? korg x nantikan ke? ahh, lantak la! pedulik ape aku. aku nk cerita jugak. muahaha


hari tu, kitorg ramai2 pegi menonton balet [balet? baley? ballett?] kat odessa opera house. cerita 'The Nutcracker and The Mouse King'. cerita ni ialah karya E.T.A. Hoffmann yang diadaptasi ke tarian balet dgn skor muzik hasil karya Tchaikovsky dan jurukoreograf Marius Petipa dan Lev Ivanov. Rujuk wikipedia.

ni pementasan ketiga yg aku pernah pegi selepas teater Dewi Bunga-Bunga [zaman sekola rendah dulu, selalu tyg kat TV pendidikan] dan satu teater dlm bhs ukren yg aku pun xphm. pementasan sketsa skola2 dulu x kira la.

so, aku malas nak cerita pjg2 pasal cerita balet ni. aku nak share dgn korg gamba2 rupa bentuk dalaman bangunan cukup klasik yg dikatakan ada 3 je dalam dunia ni. lagi 2 aku xtau kat mane...

pandangan dr seat aku

balkoni...harga tiket mahal sket

balet baru nak mula, memperkenalkan...Tukang Buat Patung!!!

Tukang Patung promo kat anak2 org2 kaya

siling yg berlukis2

satu detik yg pelakon xbergerak dan usop mampu petik gamba
aku depan stage

satu je yg aku pelik/hairan/hangin dgn org ukren ni. kitorg ni punya la siap dgn kemeja n slacks dtg tgk pertunjukan. dgn sangkaan yg show ni gile formal n high-class gitu. sekali tgk org2 ukren ni, dtg pakai singlet n tshirt je...cissss!!! memang korg ni xda culture lang-s-hung! [baca dgn penuh ekspresi jengkel]

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SoDok-meNYOdok amalan JiMAT

bila dah tinggal 2 org, mula la dah mati akal. terbunuh dek kebosanan. maka masing2 mencari idea untuk membunuh kebosanan dan membalas dendam terhadap akal yg termati tadi.

JOM KITA GUNTING RAMBUT!!!!

tapi sape nak gunting? aswad dah balik Malaysia...

KITA LA GUNTING SENDIRI!!!

mana buleh aku gunting rambut sendiri...

KO POTONG RAMBUT AKU, AKU POTONG RAMBUT KO LAAAA...

sebelum

untuk pengetahuan korg, upah gunting rambut kat sini [ukren la, mana lagi...] buleh cecah 30grv. tp servis mcm sial! gunting semata2. xda cukur, xda urut2 extra mcm kedai mamak, lepas tu, fesyen saaamaaaaa jek. untung la kalo dpt awek cun yg potong [salon da...kedai gunting lelaki TIDAK WUJUD sama sekali]. kalo sape2 ada tgk rambut russian/ukrainian, samada pendek mcm askar, botak atau pun pjg terus [kes x gunting lgsg]. ada a kot kedai2 yg buleh wat style2, tp agak sendiri la berapa harganye...

selepas...sexy x aku? ada mcm zarina ann julie x? hahaha

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female circumcision issue

Disclaimer: this is NOT an official fatwa or religious ruling article. only dedicated to the Curios RED ;) refer original article here

after doing a small research through the net, i found out that Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) includes 3 forms:
  1. clitorodectomy (partial and/or complete) [potong buang biji k******t]
  2. infibulation [jahit lubang kemaluan]
  3. circumcision [buang kulub]
the one in RED's blog is the 3rd one.

the custom is actually not from the Islamic rule and originated from northern Africa. it is a pre-Islamic practice adopted by the arabs during the Prophet's time.

now to answer the kampung people's allegations.

1. According to the villagers, female circumcision is a must due to religious purposes. Although in Malaysia the majority of muslims are of the Syafiee tribe (there are 4 tribes in Islam: Hanafi, Hanbali, Maliki, and Syafiee), they are also muslims who are from the other tribes in Islam, that do not practice female circumcision. Only the Syafiee tribe does it and regard it as compulsory.

my answer: female circumcision is not a must but only recommended. click here. do note that i'm not an authority to rule down legal issues [find your local imam, mullah, alim or ustaz] but i'm merely explaining the issue. and RED, kindly correct, the Hanafi, Hanbali, Maliki and Syafie are not refered as 'tribes'. they are the 4 schools of Sunni Islamic jurisdiction. not 'tribes' like the Hutus, Tutsis, Zulus or Masais in Africa.

2. The villagers strongly said that if you do not undergo circumcision, be it male or female, then you are not a muslim...If you are a Syafiee and you don’t undergo the circumcision process, you are not accepted as a muslim.

my answer: no. while being circumsized is a Muslim identity [as with the Jews], newly-converts are only required to circumsize when they are comfortable to do it. see here. you got it right when you said there was no ruling about circumcision in the Holy Quran. circumcision is prescribed by the Prophet as a fitrah and a continuation of the sunnah of Ibrahim.

3. The other reason that it is done is because the villagers believe if circumcision is not done on females, the part that is supposed to be cut off (a piece of hanging skin right above the urethral opening) will grow into a big piece of hanging skin that will not allow or make it difficult for penetration during sexual intercourse, in other words, will decrease the libido of that person.

my answer: this one, i honestly don't know.

regarding the malay tradition and culture, i think you have made a good job in documenting them. malays even have a working sanitary method resulting in no post-op infection. maybe you can research on that also :) hope you are satisfied.

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